On June 2, my flight touched down in Atlanta.
For the first time in six months, I was home.
It’s been a bit over a month since then. Most of my time has been whiled away playing video games, lounging on the couch with my two dogs, and catching up with friends. I’ve done a bit of minor travel in between. In fact, I just got back from Florida last night.
I revisited New York City for the first time in three years several weeks ago. In a way, that was the beginning of it all. That’s when I knew I wanted to travel, more than anything in the world. It seemed only fitting that I would return there after the journey — or at least the first leg of it — had come to an end.
Much of my time has been spent in thought. For the past four or five years, my primary goal was to travel. Everything I did was working towards that goal. I wanted to make a lifelong dream a reality, and I was willing to do whatever it took.
There were sleepless nights and haggard days. I often woke at 4:30 AM to work, only stopping when my vision grew too blurry for me to continue. Friends would tell me I was in danger of burning out, but I didn’t care. I had a goal.
When you live like that for so long, you become accustomed to having something to work towards. However, no one ever tells you about what comes after — the time when the dream is achieved, when the goal is reached. What do you do then?
In my case, I didn’t really have an answer. I felt like I was floating, drifting, with nothing to work towards.
Maybe everyone is just like me. Maybe it’s just my own neurosis. Either way, I need to have a goal, something to work towards, or I feel like I’m stagnating.
In truth, I feel as though I was searching for something on the road. I’m not entirely sure what it was. Meaning? A purpose? I knew that not traveling would be letting myself down, that to stay true to the hopeful kid who stared at the stars and dreamed of distant lands, I had to go.
I’m not sure if I found what I was looking for, but I know what I did find: amazing, friendly people. Fantastic foods. Fascinating cultures that never ceased to astonish me. I found a world so full of vibrant, overflowing life that I find it hard to believe anyone can wake up with negative thoughts in mind.
As a kid, I spent an inordinate amount of time reading stories about adventurers, men and women who took on something larger than themselves. I watched movies and played games with this same character type as the lead. For a small, shy kid who didn’t know too much about the world outside of his home and school, I wanted to imitate them.
I wanted something to fight for. I wanted a way to make a difference. It turned me into an optimist.
And now that I’m home, surrounded by the same media influences as before, it’s harder to maintain that optimism. Every day, I’m bombarded with negative Facebook updates from people who have given up, from people who have made mistakes that they don’t believe can be fixed. The news is a constant stream of misery.
However, despite all this, there are specks of light shining through. I see people who look at the problems and ask, “So, what are we doing to fix it?”
These are the people who haven’t given up hope yet. They’re the ones who are fighting. As a kid, I watched heroes battle their way through overwhelming odds and impossibly powerful armies to save the day. As an adult, I watch people fight back against issues of race, poverty, and inequality.
Those are the armies of our world, but they aren’t faced by men and women in shining suits of armor. They’re fought by everyday people who smile, share a kind word, and fight to change laws and open the doors for a better tomorrow.
That’s the kind of person I want to be, the kind of person I’ve always wanted to be.
Traveling abroad changed me in ways I can’t fully quantify. I’m more confident now than I was before — getting lost in a strange city with an unfamiliar language will do that to you. I’m less quick to jump to conclusions, and I prefer to gather as much information as I can before making a decision. I’m more trusting, quicker to smile, and slower to anger.
The rest of the changes will show themselves in the months and years to come. My travels are far from over; though it’s been a month, I’m still fresh from the road, and I’m enjoying the short-term comforts that come with it. In the mean time, I intend to keep spending time with the people I love, having fun, and focusing on what’s to come.
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