It’s a question I’ve heard a lot of times, and one I’ve asked myself on occasion.
I’m packing up the few worldly possessions I want to keep, storing them, and then stowing my entire life into a few panniers on the back of a bicycle. A few pairs of clothes, a camera, computer, tent, spare tire, hex tool, a couple of pots and pans, and the world beneath my wheels. That’s it. That’s what life will be pared down to.
Nothing familiar.
Nothing comforting.
Just the unknown.
So am I scared?
I wouldn’t say scared, exactly. This is my life’s dream — to live a life of adventure, mystique, and wonder. The whole 9-5 experience isn’t for me. I don’t want to watch the clock tick down to 5 o’clock each day, only to go home, have a beer, and watch tv until I start over again the next day. So I’m throwing that lifestyle to the wind and heading eastward to challenge myself, to test my endurance and capacity to withstand the loneliness and isolation that will make up large parts of this journey.
So no, I’m not really scared.
I’m terrified.
Why? It’s hard to say. There’s the fear of failure, the fear that I won’t be physically capable of handling the challenges. There’s also the fear of giving up because I’m not mentally prepared. But the thing is, nothing worth doing is ever going to be easy.
In preparation of the journey, I’ve been readying myself. Training hard at the gym, increasing the number of miles I can handle. Working towards steeling my mind and spirit. Cutting off problems before they arise. I don’t want to do too much preparation — half of the reason I’m doing this is to experience life in all its myriad forms — but a little bit of common sense can go a long way.
So even though I might be scared, the excitement tends to override it much of the time. For instance, I recently discovered that the UK and Ireland are not part of the Schengen Area like I had previously believed, which means I’ll have much more time to explore that part of the world before my visa is up. I can’t wait to visit all of the places I’ve dreamed of for so long. The fear won’t stop that.
Only a fool is unafraid. If your dreams don’t scare you, then they aren’t big enough. And it’s better to have to muster the courage for an undertaking than to spend your entire life wondering “what if.” At least that’s what I believe, and it’s what has carried me this far.
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